Whiteout, Part 2

I have railed on about cynical marketing before, in person and in print, but I found a new low, at least on my personal scale. The poster for today's movie, Whiteout, features the lovely Kate Beckinsale amid a flurry of snow. Appropriate, as the movie is set in Antarctica. Notice the eyes. They're crystal blue.

Now take a glance at the second picture, Kate Beckinsale in a normal visage. With some movie stars, normal and glamorous are not mutually exclusive, but I digress. Notice the eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes. They stayed brown the entire movie. False advertising!

I could go on and on about the sociology of cultures around the world valuing light over dark in humans being since the dawn of civilization, and the implicit blue-eyed bias of Whiteout's marketing team, but instead, a rant about marketing.

Every movie gets a lobby poster and every poster is designed to help sell the movie, but most viewing decisions are made long before an audience member stands in the lobby and chooses a movie. Whiteout is an Antarctic thriller. Its target audience is 16-26 year-old males. And 16-26 year-old males aren't going to be swayed by the color of an actresses eyes in a poster. They will be swayed by the knowledge that she has breasts. Cynical of me to say, but true. And irony of ironies, Whiteout, a movie set in the coldest place on earth, gives us one scene with Kate Beckinsale in her underwear. Why didn't they put that on the poster?

Dollhouse Indoctrination

I love the TV series Dollhouse. It had a twelve episode run on Fox from Febuary - May 2009 and will begin its second season on September 25. Its ratings weren't great so I'm trying to drum up new viewers in order to keep the show on the air. Toward that end, I've prepared three posts below that will help bring you aboard. Please read only the one that applies to you - there are spoilers galore and the last thing I want to do is reduce your enjoyment of the program.

Why Dollhouse? Well, it is a well-done science fiction program. As with much great science fiction, it's heavy on the story and light on the science. Great action, great intrigue, great eye candy. Then, there's Joss Whedon.

Joss Whedon is a TV writer and script doctor best known for the movies Toy Story and Alien Resurrection, in addition to the TV shows he created, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Firefly. I've already written extensively about Firefly and its feature offshoot, Serenity. I hold Buffy and Angel in high esteem, especially the latter season episodes. Whedon took these TV dramas where no TV show had ever gone, including perfecting the "Big Bad" story arc. The Big Bad is where a larger story is told over the course of a season, while the individual episodes still stand alone, for the most part. If Angel and Buffy had gotten yanked early in their runs, we would have missed out on some great stories.

I hope to avoid that fate for Dollhouse. Like many, I found Buffy and Angel after they had ended their network runs. I seriously want to see where Whedon will take Echo and the others with Dollhouse. It barely got renewed for a second season, getting just a 13 episode order and a big budget cut. By drumming up more support, maybe we can get a full 22-episode season and, dare to dream, a third season ("And beyond!" Toy Story joke). Therefore, I have created the indoctrination sessions you see below. Find the one that applies to you and it will help get you in front of the TV for the second season of Dollhouse.

Never Seen Dollhouse? Have Access to the Season One Discs?

Watch them. The new season begins September 25. There are only 12 episodes in season one so getting through them in the next two weeks shouldn't be too hard. The DVDs contain a bunch of special features, including an unaired pilot and an unaired 13th episode, but you can skip the unaired episodes. The original pilot was chopped up and incorporated into the first four aired eps, and ep 13 was never intended to air so the producers got a little wild with it. Neither one fits into the arc of the stories so if you're pressed for time, just watch the 12 aired episodes.

Since I've convinced you to watch the DVDs, I will give you only the briefest of primers. Dollhouse is a serial. Although there are individual stories each week and one-time-only characters, part of each episode is used to push the series to the twelfth episode. The tension will build - trust me - until the final episode when all threads of the season come together for a heart-stopping finish. The premise sounds simple - a company rents out people with customized personalities to order. When they're not out on engagements, the "dolls" have their memories wiped clean. They become blank slates.

There are a lot of characters at first. Echo is the main one - she'll be easy to keep track of. Boyd is her handler. He's kind of like us - the external viewer, a skeptical outsider. Miss Dewitt runs the place and is as complicated as as a doll is simple - it will take a few episodes to get the hang of her character. Paul the FBI guy is the relentless pursuer. Keep an eye on him - he is the force that drives much of the ongoing activity in each of the episodes. The rest of them - the other dolls, the tech guy, the security chief, the neighbor, the doctor with scars will all come into focus after 4-5 episodes.

It will be a little odd at first to identify with a character who has no personality - in this case, wiped after each engagement, but Dollhouse is not the first show on TV to use personality-free characters. Think of Mission: Impossible where you never saw any of the spies outside of a mission. We knew nothing about them personally; they were on screen only to perform the mission and get out. How about the first few seasons of CSI? The characters had only the most perfunctory personalities. They existed only to investigate the crime scene or run lab tests. In Dollhouse, it's a little more complex, but a doll's initial function is to be imprinted with other people's personalities in order to do an engagement. The stories get good usually when something goes wrong.

If you read this post because you intend to watch season one, DO NOT READ THE POSTS BELOW. THEY CONTAIN SPOILERS. Big spoilers.

Caught Some or All of Season One but Aren't Hooked?

I feel bad for you. You tuned in but didn't like it or didn't catch on. Well, some shows aren't for everybody. I hope you start watching season two. If you only caught a few episodes, some things didn't make sense to you because Dollhouse is a serial. Every episode builds on the previous one.

I could probably write 1000 words on each episode to help you understand the show better but I think we'll take the easy way out. If you have questions on the show or any particular episode, send me a comment or stop me in the hall and I'll help you through it. I want you to get hooked - I want you to share my addiction and I'll do whatever I can to get you there.

Want to Catch the Dollhouse Wave but Can't or Won't Watch Season One?

The new season starts on September 25, which for some is coming very quickly. I'm going to help you by summarizing the first season. After reading this, you'll be able to watch season two and follow along reasonably well.

CONTAINS SEASON ONE SPOILERS

The Dollhouse is a business that sells a service. If you need a human being, for pretty much any reason, they will create a profile of a complete human being, skills, memories and all, and imprint that on to a person whose memories have been wiped (and stored - dolls are reconstituted at the end of their five-year term). Echo, Sierra and Victor are the three main dolls the series follows. The dollhouse is a luxurious place where the dolls live when they are wiped. It's calm and soothing.

Echo, the beautiful brunette doll, gets wiped at the end of every engagement, but we the viewers know that she retains knowledge from each personality after being wiped. There was also an episode where we learned part of Echo's real-life backstory - that's why some people know her as Caroline.

It takes a lot of people to support this business. There's Miss Dewitt, the glamorous, very British CEO; the annoying tech guy who has no inner-censor so he says everything on his mind; the tech assistant; and a timid doctor with scars on her face. There are also a bunch of people running around in the background, but you can think of them as people on Star Trek wearing red uniforms (The expendable ones who get killed first when Kirk beams to a new planet).

Erasing people's minds can't be legal, so there is an FBI agent tracking them down. Special Agent Paul Ballard is being fed disinformation by the dollhouse, but is also getting accurate info from someone in the dollhouse and a rogue doll known as Alpha. Ballard is actually getting played by all three but he nonetheless finds the dollhouse in episode 11. After pursuing the people who run the dollhouse as criminals, the tables turn and he is put into a position to protect the dolls in the end.

Dominick, the head of security for the dollhouse, turns out to be a spy for the NSA. Up until he was exposed, he played the part very well. It's never stated, but he is probably the person who fed info to Ballard. I have a problem with that twist - the NSA knew about the dollhouse but the FBI didn't? Never mind.

Boyd started out as Echo's handler. He is everyman, the skeptical observer, but deeply loyal to Echo. He gets promoted to chief of security near the end of the season but he never loses his bond with Echo. I consider him to be the inscrutable rock of the show.

From episode one, a rogue doll named Alpha is mentioned. Before the series started, he went on a rampage and killed a bunch of people in the dollhouse, maimed the doctor and escaped. Ever since, he's been angling back for some reason, including feeding information to the FBI guy. In the final episode, we find out why. He's a psycho with good taste - he's got the hots for Echo. Alpha is psycho because he was accidentally programmed with over 40 imprints - Eve, with her three personalities or Sybil with her 16, have nothing on Alpha. He kidnaps Echo and programs her with 38 imprints so he'll have an equally psycho girlfriend. Echo, though, is stronger and fights back. The glitch that allows her to remember things after being wiped probably has something to do with it. Ballard ends up saving the day and, with his FBI career over, begins a voyage from within the belly of the beast.

Tune in on September 25 and every Friday thereafter.

If You're a Guy and Have No Interest in Watching Dollhouse

Dude.

Not Interested in Dollhouse at All?

I just can't talk to you right now.

Coming to a Theater Near Me

I read in the Trib that there is an urban revitalization project under construction in St Louis Park that includes a theater. Always in the market for more theater choices, I decided to check it out.

The project is just off 394 at Xenia-Park Place. There is a brand-spanking-new Rainbow on the left (east) side. The theater is one block south and stands quite large above the retail shops at ground level. While the Rainbow is now open, the theater is still under construction. They are probably aiming for a Thanksgiving opening.

The theater is owned by Kerasotes, which operates in Minnesota under the Showplace name. I've been to the Showplace theater in Inver Grove Heights a few times. It's a nice place with a decent staff, but the price was a bit higher than average for my usual haunts.

The new theater is about 4.5 miles from my house. Weekend matinees won't be a problem, but getting there after work could be tough. It's only about 3-3.5 miles from the office but getting onto 394 can be difficult between 4-5:00, not to mention that Xenia-Park Place is always congested, so that could slow a person down as well. Willow Creek is still the best bet for after-work viewing, as it's only a brisk three-minute walk away. My current back-up theater is AMC in Maple Grove, a 12-minute weekend drive away. I never go there during the week.

The design of the new theater gives me pause. Being an urban theater, parking is in a ramp. I couldn't tell if the ramp is free or pay, but I'm not inclined to pay for parking without a good reason. A ramp also complicates how long it might take to get inside. As a just-in-time kinda guy, having to drive up a few levels looking for an open spot then hoofing it to the box office may induce lateness, which is a deal killer. Leave a little earlier, you say? Yeah, right.

Time will tell if the new theater gets much of my business. Willow Creek is still a decent primary theater, but they usually only carry the mass-market fare, while I like a good art-house or limited-run picture now and again. Willow Creek also cycles movies in and out a little faster than I like. It's sometimes difficult to get to a movie that only runs for a week or two, what with my busy schedule of procrastination and all.

I'll write a post about the new theater after it opens.

Gamer

Gamer isn't going to win any awards but it's a fairly harmless way to spend 85 minutes. It's essentially a post-apocalyptic grit fest, with a prisoner - wrongly convicted, of course - being used as a pawn in a video game. Cross that with a "Sci Fi for Dummies" story about the corruption of business and the ethics of removing human free will and you've got the movie. It goes over the top - almost constantly - but moves so quickly you won't mind.

You may have noticed I use "-porn" as a suffix to describe a trait taken to excess for gratuitous purposes, such as explosion-porn, shootout-porn, car chase-porn and dismemberment-porn. Gamer is so gratuitous that I lost track of all the "-porn" adjectives I could use to describe the movie. The four above are just the primary ones. You want gratuitous? In one scene, the hero does one of those neck-breaking moves - putting the opponent into a headlock and twisting the head - twice! OK, the bad guy - a death row inmate - had survived a hanging once before so the hero had to be sure, but still.

Gamer liberally cribs from other movies, The Running Man much of the time, Death Race for a while, Road House even. I might have been a little less harsh on the film but near the end, the villain - yes, an overly talkative villain who could easily have killed the hero when he had the chance - does a musical routine to the tune of "I've Got You Under My Skin." Entirely surreal and inappropriate. Nonetheless, because of its brisk pacing, simple plot, and Gerard Butler finally suppressing his Scottish accent, Gamer gets a mild recommendation as a popcorn movie.

Extract

Extract is my kind of comedy. Nothing gross or scatological. It's a laugh-out-loud comedy exploiting human foibles.

A couple of problems, though.

-Mila Kunis gets second billing for what is essentially a small but pivotal role. I guess they wanted to capitalize on last year's hit, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Fine, but she's only in the movie a fraction of the time.

-The commercials and previews all stress that Extract is from the maker of Office Space. True enough, but it's not Office Space. Completely different animal. If you're expecting Office Space II, as the commercials imply, you will be disappointed. Extract is plenty good but in a completely different way. Haven't seen Office Space and don't know what I'm talking about? You're missing out. Rent it! Rent it now!

-Kristen Wiig is a comedic force of nature and incredibly versatile, as evidenced by Saturday Night Live and roles in Ghost Town, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Knocked Up, but is mainly playing it straight here. She's good and all, but you might expect her to break out the wacky, which she only does near the end.

Moving Midway

A few months ago, I heard an interview on NPR with the maker of a documentary film about moving a house.  Well, if you describe it like that, it sounds pretty dull but the interview was anything but, so I dropped the movie into my rental queue.  I just finished watching Moving Midway and was riveted through the whole thing.

Midway Plantation was a pre-civil war plantation in Raleigh, North Carolina, and all that goes with it.  Six generations of the same family have lived there.  The film-maker, a cousin to the current owner, tags along as preparations are made to move the house and outbuildings a few miles away from the suburban sprawl that had grown up around it.

Even before land for the plantation's new location is secured, the unexpected occurs - a blood link is verified between the white family that occupied the main house and descendents of slaves and freemen that worked the land as recently as the 1880s.  The movie veers between the moving of the house to the introductions of what is now a huge extended family.

Moving Midway is a personal history lesson of the two branches of one family and by extension, the history of the civil war, reconstruction and jim crow.  As I said at the top, it is riveting and a wonderful documentary.

And as a guy, I gotta say that moving a house, with or without the history lesson, is really cool.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

OK, I've now seen it twice. I'm allowed to form an opinion. And it's kinda freaking me out that I am about to pan a Harry Potter movie.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was good in all technical respects but it was so dark, both in mood and photography I just couldn't get into it. I also never got over what they left out. Sure, the novel is 652 pages, so a ton of stuff had to be omitted, but in Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix, it didn't bother me so much. Then there's the gray, gray everywhere, almost like it was a black and white movie. Sure, it's a dark novel but there is still so much magic in Harry's life, both literally and figuratively, that this gray palated, dour mood movie just sucked all the fun out of it.

Post Grad

I didn't see any previews or commercials for Post Grad. It flew very far under my radar with one exception: I saw a single poster for it at the Maple Grove theater. A two-foot tall picture of Alexis Bledel got my attention.

I've liked Bledel since the first episode of Gilmore Girls in October 2000. Her career has been solid, if unspectacular, with supporting roles in mostly small movies. Post Grad is her first lead role and while it's not going to set the entertainment world afire, it's a decent movie.

Alexis plays Ryden, whom we meet on the morning of her college graduation. She's the salutatorian, a little wide eyed and a bit caffeinated, though not as caffeinated as Rory Gilmore. It doesn't take long for the perfect student to realize the real world is a tough place and before long she's back living with her parents. Her family, including a hypochondriac grandmother and curious little brother, is a bit crazy. A big chunk of the movie is Ryden getting her keister kicked at job interviews and rolling her eyes at the idiosyncrasies of her family.

My problem with Post Grad is that it plays things too safe. It wisely keeps the characters on this side of charactiture, and doesn't force the characters to do stupid things for the sake of stupidity, like many comedies. No, for a comedy, I didn't laugh that much. I enjoyed the movie but I didn't laugh. And for a movie with both Carol Burnett and Jane Lynch in it, I expect some carefully crafted, laugh-out-loud moments.

So Post Grad is a nice, decent, clean comedy and a good way to spend 84 minutes but it's not the funniest comedy around.

Fame

I've never seen the 1980 movie Fame. Not in the theater, not on HBO, not on VHS or DVD, not on late night commercial TV.  I can tap my foot along with the infectious theme song by Irene Cara but I've never had any desire to watch the movie.   According to IMDB there was a TV series based on the movie.  Nope, never seen even a frame of that either.

While watching previews before a feature the other day, I was treated to a preview of a new movie version of Fame.  Somewhere during the two minutes of that preview, the part of my brain that decides whether I go to a movie or not decided that I am skipping Fame when it opens in September.  It looked boring in 1980; it looks boring in 2009.  Whether it is truly boring or not is a discussion for another time.

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

The first thing you need to know about GI Joe is that it is stupid. The second thing you need to know about GI Joe is that it is amazingly entertaining.

Before I got into the rhythm of the movie, it made me roll my eyes with its contrived plot, cliched dialogue and style over substance gadgetry, but then it broke through to the part of my brain that appreciates silly, violence and sexy.

It's mainly explosion- and car chase-porn, but like real porn (so I'm told), there is a place for it. The whole plot revolves around the bad guys getting their hands on some McGuffin missiles and doing untold mischief, so the good guys have to wreck Paris and the North Pole to save the day. It's set in the future so we have to cut the plot some slack but it's a joke anyway and the dialogue sounded like it was written with a "Wheel of Cliche." The car chases aren't always with cars - they use motorcycles, snowmobiles, personal submarines and Michelin Man suits.

What really made me lower my normal standards was early on. The bad guy's commandos did fierce battle with the good commandos. The bad guys had all kinds of high tech weaponry and the good guys had today-conventional weapons. Why would the bad guys need to steal missiles if they have invulnerable helicopters, impenetrable body armor and a hand-held pulse gun that makes all other weapons irrelevant? It was like a neon sign saying "Check your brain at the door. Nothing in this movie will make sense." I checked my brain and had a really nice time.

Some of the finer points:

The femme fatale wore a vinyl catsuit that looked like she stole it from Trinity in The Matrix. And no matter what she wore, no matter what bad-ass thing she was doing, her outfits were always open down to her mid-chest level.

One of the GIs Joe was played by Channing Tatum, who you might recognize upon viewing if you don't recognize the name. He was in one of my guilty pleasures, She's the Man, which I reviewed in 2006. In both movies he plays a character named Duke, which is trivially notable all by itself. However, in GI Joe, the 28 year-old Tatum plays a mid-30s Army captain. Three years ago, he played a high school senior in She's the Man. I thought he looked a little old then, but I went with it. Now that I've seen him as an adult - looking the same - I hope I can still suspend disbelief enough to continue enjoying She's the Man.

The bad guys want to launch a stinger-type missile at the Eiffel tower, so naturally they leave a building with a perfectly good view of the tower and basically destroy the city of Paris rue by rue in order to launch the missile from the building next door to the tower. Hmm. Wouldn't it be easier to launch from where they started without getting stuck in rush hour traffic?  It's a missile after all.

The President of the United States was played by a Welshman. Jonathan Pryce is good, but couldn't they have gotten Denzel to do a cameo?

The plot has - no spoilers here - a villain that built the McGuffin missiles needing to steal the missiles. Huh? He couldn't have made his own by running an extra shift or building a second factory? Did he learn nothing from Contact?

Towards the end, a good guy has a high-tech plane. He needs to get from Moscow to Washington in order to destroy a launched missile. He has 14 minutes. He makes it. I'll save you from doing the math - his plane flies faster than escape velocity. In the atmosphere. Without burning up or causing enough sonic booms to level all of Europe. Oh, am I being too logical again? Sorry.

I'll leave you with this one. The villain's lair is underneath the Arctic polar ice cap. Who are they kidding? When in the future will there be a polar ice cap?

I pick a lot but I did enjoy GI Joe. It's fun rolling ones eyes and laughing at inadvertently funny scenes, but like I all-too-often say about sci-fi shows, it could have been so much more with only a little bit of effort. Alas.