Battleship

Battleship is the alien invasion movie for people who thought Independence Day was too cerebral.

2:00

Ringer Marathon

Back in September, 2011, the CW netlet premiered a new series starring Buffy the Vampire Slayer herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar. I watched the first episode because it is my policy to sample everything done by people connected to Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse, you know, everything in the Whedonverse.

I liked Ringer immediately. A suspenseful show about a druggie who takes over her twin sister's Park Avenue life after the sister offs herself. What's not to like? I liked it so much that I did two things. I started pronouncing the G as a J, like Ranger only with an I, and I started to save up a few episodes so I could watch several at a time. I thought it might be 3-4 episodes before I starting watching the show in earnest but instead it was 22. That's right, I found myself with entire season sitting on my DVR, so Friday night, I started a Rin-jer marathon.

It was a wonderful weekend.

The show is wonderful. Dark, suspenseful and most importantly, never cheap or cheesy. Watching all 22 episodes at once was a great way to follow the details of the dense plot. Oh, it is dense, in a way that you rarely see on television. SMG plays Bridget and Siobhan - the name Siobhan itself entertains me far more than is reasonable - and lies a lot. Bridget was a fugitive and decided that hiding in plain sight was the most appealing option, but it's tough to lie to everyone when you start to care.

I was worried that Ringer would drift into prime-time soap territory, but it never did. Everything was played straight and the issues were always matters of life and death. Literally as several people, not always the bad guys, met their demise. There was one plot thread, the teenage step-daughter getting raped by a teacher, that made me roll my eyes (also literally) as the topic, serious in real life but overdone on TV, became much more than a soap plot. All in all, a well done series and well cast.

The teenage step-daughter was played by Zoey Deutch, whom IMDB tells me is the daughter of Lea Thompson. The real-life mother-daughter don't really look anything alike but when you know what to look for, you can see Lea's mannerisms all over her daughter's face. Zoey also came off as a real teenager instead of a TV teenager. A welcome treat.

Oddly, Ringer was joined in the life swap genre this year by a series called The Lying Game on ABC Family. I also watched The Lying Game but hardly for the same reasons. In TLG, twins separated at birth meet up and share one life. It's played as a soap, complete with over-the-top plots and silly issues. As I said, I enjoyed TLG, but more for the eye candy than its quality. Between the two, I wouldn't mind a second season of The Lying Game, but I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want a second season of Ringer. I'll even pronounce it correctly if that will help.

Mirror, Mirror

As Mirror, Mirror is based on the Snow White fairy tale, I will present my comments in chapter form, like a book.

Chapter One

Lily Collins is the fairest in all the land.

Chapter Two

I generally avoid Julia Roberts movies as she's one of those larger-than-life people who never disappears into her characters. That's fine for many Movie Stars, but for Ms Roberts, I've seen enough interviews with her where I get a sense of her real personality and that personality seems to be a nut job. Nonetheless, I went to Mirror, Mirror not expecting much and I was rewarded with something more. The character of the evil queen called for an over-the-top performance and Julia's chewing of the scenery - literally in one scene - fit perfectly into the movie. Kudos.

Chapter Three

The overall tone of Mirror, Mirror was tongue-in-cheek but not campy. The movie pulled off the difficult task of maintaining tone throughout, but they did not live happily ever after...

Chapter Four

If you can, leave the theater or turn off the movie right as Snow deals with the apple at her wedding. The movie closes with a musical number over the credits, like many movies do, but this one sucks. Whereas many movies reward you with a fun number, such as "Build Me Up Buttercup" from There's Something About Mary, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" in the fairy tale themed Ella Enchanted, or any of the Shrek movies, Mirror, Mirror punishes you with a Bollywood number that is a voluminously violent assault on the ears and a bit on the eyes, as well. It doesn't fit into the movie at all. It uses Indian instruments and was sung in the Indian style, which is fine if you appreciate that style or you're watching a movie set in India. I noticed that Mirror, Mirror was directed by a guy with an Indian-sounding name so maybe he's a Bollywood guy and was rewarding himself on finishing an American movie, but the closing number was a punishment to the very movie-goers the director had just spent 95 minutes successfully entertaining. Seriously, turn off the movie when you see the apple or at least hit mute.

Chapter Five

What is with all the Snow White shows lately? We have her in ABC's Once Upon a Time every Sunday, this movie, and this Summer, Snow White and the Huntsman, with Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron. Are there no other stories out there worth telling?

Chapter Six

Lily Collins is the fairest in all the land.

1:39

Titanic 3D

I just returned from watching Titanic. I won't bother with a review - anyone and everyone knows all about it. This was the first time I've seen Titanic in a theater since May, 1998, and I've never watched it in its entirety on home video, although I did watch a significant chunk with my niece circa the turn of the last century, so today was much like watching it for the first time.

It's still an impressive movie, although I could not avoid noticing it was also very long - three hours and change tests the limits of my sleep deprivation, ADD, and bladder. I'm happy to report I didn't nap, start fidgeting or wet myself today, so we'll call this a win.

The 3D is another story. I don't like 3D and find that it detracts from the movie-going experience more than it adds. As Titanic was not shot in 3D, they had to synthesize the effects, layering elements in each shot in front or behind each other. It wasn't all that impressive overall and some of the effects shots - and there are a lot of effects shots in Titanic - looked a bit cheap, or at least they stood out as effects more than I remember.

Not liking to wear those icky 3D glasses over my prescription lenses, I spent just under $20 on clip-ons designed for 3D TVs. This was the first movie I used them on and it was better. The 3D glasses never quite fit over the regular glasses and always slip off if I move my head too much. The clip-ons allowed full head movement and have the added benefit of not being heavily tinted, unlike the glasses, which are dark enough to wear as sunglasses outdoors. I'll give you a full report of the clip-ons after I've used them for a few more movies.

All-in all, spending three hours with Rose and Jack was a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Is anyone planning on watching Titanic in the theater on April 15, 2012? It's a once in a lifetime anniversary.

3:07

The Artist

The Artist is the black & white silent movie that everyone is talking about, if you'll pardon the expression. It's the basic A Star is Born story that has been the basis of movies since shortly after the invention of the talkie. I found it mostly entertaining, but it was a little long (despite its 97 minute running time) and I didn't like the ending.

I won't tell you what I didn't like about the ending of The Artist because plenty of people appear to enjoy it, but I found the last five minutes to be out of character for the movie.

The leads received Academy Award nominations and deserved them, but Bérénice Bejo was nominated for supporting actress in what was clearly a leading role. She's in a tough category but I wouldn't be shocked - or disappointed - if she took home a trophy Sunday night.

1:37

The Thing

Mary Elizabeth Winstead with a flamethrower? What could be bad? Well, a few things.

It's been a long time since I saw the 1982 version of The Thing - and have no real memory of it - and I never saw The Thing from Another World from 1951, so this review stands on its own even though the movies may be connected somehow.

The Thing is your basic Ten Little Indians with a Non-Human Slasher genre movie, and as such isn't too bad. That genre isn't my cup of tea, but the aforementioned comely Mary Elizabeth Winstead is on my must-attend list so I went. The Thing may be a good choice for a mid-Winter home video selection, but even if you like the non-human slasher genre, I wouldn't rush out to see it.

1:38

The Mighty Macs

I decided to see The Mighty Macs after seeing one commercial. It looked like your basic underdog sports movie and Carla Gugino would be the coach. What could be bad? Not much, actually. The Mighty Macs is an independent movie with a limited budget and small cast. Within those limitations, it hits the right tone and emotional cues, delivering a top-notch sports movie.

The story appears to be based on actual events. Immaculatta College in Pennsylvania, 1971. A losing team in a women's school gets a new coach and no respect. Through movie-standard grit and pluckiness, the team makes a run at a national championship in one season. The coach is almost deified - not an easy task in a Catholic school - but for once maybe earns it. Some of her players went on to be coaches themselves, win national championships and are even still active in the WNBA and college ranks.

The coach's voice-over narration provides a titch more sappiness than the movie needs but step-back in time sports cliches and old clothing styles more than make up for it with a thoroughly entertaining movie.

Oh, the name? Immaculatta. Im-MAC-u-lat-ta. Macs. I didn't get it until the movie was about three-fourths over. Until then, I thought it was some unspoken Scottish thing.

1:36

The Three Musketeers

Alexandre Dumas meets Pirates of the Caribbean meets Jules Verne. If that sounds like a mish-mash, it is. This incarnation of The Three Musketeers is an excuse for stunts, CGI and costumes. It's perfectly fine by the standards of today's adventure movies but, make no mistake, The Three Musketeers is a disposable movie. If you go see it once, you won't need to see it twice and you don't need to buy a copy for your home video collection.

To drive home the point that it wants to start the next Pirates of the Renaissance franchise, they even cast Orlando Bloom as one of the (many) villains. The flexible morality and scenery-chewing is straight out of Pirates. Milla Jovavich's lingerie-wearing, adrenaline junkie spy is straight out of a Madonna video. All-in-all, for a basic adventure show, by all means go see The Three Musketeers. I enjoyed it. But don't expect to remember anything about it the next day.

1:42

Killer Elite

Killer Elite is a perfectly serviceable action flick. It's more of a geopolitical thriller than you might have guessed from the commercials. It's set in 1980 and has a gritty production design, possibly inspired by the Bourne thrillers. Despite its pedigree - Jason Statham, Robert De Niro, Clive Owen - Killer Elite is a non-studio production but it works very well.

Much of the dialog is spoken by non-native English speakers - Omani, Italian, French, Australian, Welsh, English - that it was difficult to understand everything. Not that it mattered, but if you need to know the intricacies of a plot designed to get you to the next gun fight, well, maybe save Killer Elite for DVD, where you can turn on the captions.

Watching Killer Elite marked the 900th film that I've seen at Willow Creek Theaters in Plymouth (900!). I guess that's a lot. Willow Creek is not the nicest place around, but it's convenient, clean, and the staff is polite. In a backhanded complement, the matinees are sparsely attended, so getting in and out is fairly easy. 900!  I will continue using Willow Creek as my primary movie-going venue.  900!

1:50

Drive

Beware misleading advertising! Drive is not what they show in the previews. It's not the next incarnation of The Transporter or Fast and Furious. It's a low budget, thoughtful, indie flick. It's a very good movie on its own but it's not the movie that they are selling you in the commercials. In summary, if you like movies you see in art houses, Drive is for you. If you want a crash 'em up with car chases, Drive is not for you.

1:39

One Day

Alfred Hitchcock is credited as saying he liked to cast well-known stars, such as Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant, in his movies because it allowed him to skip two reels (about 20 minutes) of exposition. It makes sense - you don't need to explain who the character is because the audience already knows. You can just jump into the story.

That explains the casting of Anne Hathaway in One Day. She's immediately recognizable by movie goers and we only need a small bit of context to understand her character. We'll get to the part about a famous American playing a Scots lass in a moment. I don't understand why they cast an unknown as the male lead. Let me explain the movie first.

One Day is a visit to two friends on most July 15ths for two decades and only on July 15. Some days are good, some are bad. It was odd to not spend any substantive time with the characters; we just had to accept that they had lived the 364 previous days and that stuff happened without us. It's an interesting premise but probably better suited for the novel on which One Day was based.

One Day is a romantic drama. My problem is that the couple was a lousy match in 1988 and were even worse 15 years later, when they were both single at the same time. By the time their romance was blossoming, I stopped caring. The ending was also terrible. Please do not rush out to see One Day.

That male lead was a problem. While Hathaway is instantly familiar and certainly earned her keep by getting asses in seats during opening week, I didn't recognize the male lead from scene to scene. In fact, I wasn't sure which of the graduating class to keep an eye on at first. Then, as he changed his appearance every July 15, I had to wait until I knew for sure it was him before I started paying attention to what the characters were saying. Based on the first scene, I knew he would be one of these types: lovable rogue; redeemable bad boy; or asshat. He wasn't at all lovable or redeemable. Why should I spend 100 minutes watching a romantic movie with a guy I wouldn't like if I met him?

I saw a few stories about Anne Hathaway's English accept on the 'net last week. In fact, it was sometimes referred to as the worst English accent of all time. Not being English, I can't weigh in on the fine points, but I recognized that it was pretty good. It was good in Becoming Jane, as well. Thing is, it did change over the course of the movie, but I think that was intentional. She starts out as a Scots schoolgirl in some English hinterlands college. She then moves to London and gradually adopts a more sophisticated accent. Later, when she's successful in her career, her whole demeanor changes, clothes, accent, the works. I think Anne's accent worked just fine. If you want to pick on One Day, there is plenty to pick on, such as the lousy story or the lack of face time for Romola Garai, but lay off the accent.

1:41

Glee 3D

I miscalculated on Glee 3D. I watch Glee on TV, but I fast-forward through maybe half to two-thirds of the musical numbers. Many don't grab me because I'm not familiar with kids' music, I refuse to listen to rap - ever - and some of the singing just isn't worth my time.

So why did I go see a Glee CONCERT movie that was - no real shock here - mostly musical numbers? Because sometimes I don't think things through. I really needed a fast-forward button.

There was also some awkward kid-on-the-street interviews and some documentary stories about some notable Glee fans: the midget cheerleader; the gay high school kid; and the 20-something with Aspberger's Syndrome. OK, I get it. Glee is for the outcast in all of us. Moving on.

The 3D didn't really add anything to Glee 3D, except for a couple of scenes that made it worth the ill-fitting glasses. The best one was during Lea Michelle's first solo (somebody get that woman a real last name, STAT) of Don't Rain on My Parade. As she glides toward you from across the stage, the background fades away and you see her face filling the screen as if you were an arm's reach from her. Truly a demonstration of 3D at its best, but most of the movie was dark and muddy, like most 3D movies.

So why did I go to see Glee 3D? Heather Morris (Brittany) winked at me during the previews. I was powerless to resist.

1:17

The Change-Up

The Change-Up is your basic body-swapping comedy as well as a raunch-com. It tries hard to be raunchy and sometimes hits the target, although it causes a few winces as well. It also goes out of its way to be stupid a few times, and because it was filmed using tax credits from the State of Georgia, it at times looks like a promo film for downtown Atlanta. Mainly though, it has a decent heart and is rather enjoyable. The characters never miss an opportunity to drop the F-bomb, but what can you do?

The best thing about The Change-Up is Olivia Wilde and a push-up bra inside an amazing red dress. You see more of the red dress in the previews than in the movie, but it's amazing nonetheless.

1:47

Crazy, Stupid Love

Crazy, Stupid Love is your basic romantic dramedy, with a decent cast and good production values. It gets the Love Actually treatment - a bit - with seemingly unrelated threads linking to each other. Crazy, Stupid Love breaks a couple of its own rules - an easy-going character suddenly gets unforgivingly rigid, for example, or a public act of contrition that was too public and too contrite - but it's pretty good for the genre.

What we have learned most from Crazy, Stupid Love? That 11-year-old Joey King needs a new agent. Last year, she was Ramona in Ramona and Beezus, a movie I raved about. Joey carried Ramona and Beezus, even though the supporting cast was also very good. It was her movie and she was wonderful. Since then, she's had a bit part in Battle Los Angeles and now, a generic role in Crazy, Stupid Love. Let's get this kid some bigger parts.

1:52

Monte Carlo

Sometimes, the studios get things right. I watched Monte Carlo with a smile on my face for almost the entire length of the movie. It is warm, it is fun, and it is my official selection as the feel-good movie of the year so far.

A recent high school graduate and two friends go to Paris where the grad is mistaken for a runaway heiress. She reluctantly carpes the diem and steps in to the heiress' life. This is hardly a new formula but Monte Carlo does it with style, never getting too sentimental or slapstick. Many things could have gone wrong making Monte Carlo, but it seems none of them did.

Selena Gomez plays the doppelganger/gangee, and was in last summer's feel good movie, Ramona and Beezus. Selena would appear to have a great future in romantic comedies. Her friends are played by Katie Cassidy, whom I've only seen in one other thing, and Leighton Meester, who seems to appear in every movie that Natalie Portman isn't in. Slow down, kid. They are both refreshing as the polar opposites who have their own adventures while participating in the impersonation. Again, they could have easily gone over the top, but showed restraint and elegance to help us take the movie seriously.

All-in-all, Monte Carlo - the movie - looks like a nice place to visit.

The enjoyment quotient of Monte Carlo might have been helped by one of the previews before the show.*  It was promoting a drama about a romance between Amy Adams and Jason Segal gone awry. Or did it? It's really a preview for a new Muppets movie and after Segal looks at the audience and asks in disbelief, "Are there Muppets in this movie?" all heck breaks loose. Could be fun. Definitely a good warm up for Monte Carlo.

1:44

* Yes, I realize that's redundant.